Site icon Tina Ngata

Was That Q+A or MasterChef?

A satirical digital composite image with a retro 1970s psychedelic aesthetic. A colourful swirling background in pink, yellow, blue and teal fills the frame. A smiling Paul Henry in a purple blazer and floral pocket square has been digitally edited to wear a large orange curly wig, pink round sunglasses, and a daisy hairpin— giving him a groovy, campy appearance. To his left is an illustrated lava lamp containing teal blobs, with a small photo of David Seymour's head bobbing around inside it. The text on the right reads "It's about the VIBE" in large retro bubble lettering

In the homestretch of the coldest of political winters, we gathered. There was a defiance about this Mataariki – more than ever, folks were determined to come together, celebrate, farewell and reflect.

And just when we thought it was time to go back out into the brutal cold, Jack Tame said “wait, come back, I have something for you”.

He sat us by the fire, poured us a glass of pinot, and deftly filleted Paul Henry, tableside, on live TV… I’m sure I could hear the dulcet tunes of “Poi e” in the background.

It was a degustation of delights. I felt sated, but light… giddy, almost.

Over the following 17 minutes, Paul Henry, broadcaster of 40 years, ACT’s new legislative candidate and David Seymour’s golden campaign hope:

I could go on but these last two points deserve some focus, because not only did Jack Tame get Paul Henry, as a freshly minded ACT candidate to contradict his own leader’s argument that the TPB was a faithful interpretation, and basically agree with what the Waitangi Tribunal have been saying for two years… but he also provided us with a crystal-clear demonstration of ACT’s perverse race obsession and the lie of neo-liberalism.

Because of course it’s not really about taxes, otherwise he would not be yearning for a time when taxes were higher, and there were more of them.

Of course it’s not really about “downsizing government” or he wouldn’t be nostalgic about a time when the public sector was significantly larger than it is now and the government owned all of its own assets.

It’s got nothing to do with welfare dependency because otherwise he would not be reminiscing about the golden era of the welfare state.

He’s clearly demonstrated that it’s not about university, or businesses, or “all New Zealanders” or even his own sector of broadcasting. All of that was code-speak and white noise.

What Paul is yearning for, and interested in, is a pre-Waitangi Tribunal New Zealand. What he is actually nostalgic for is the white supremacy of the 60s, before Māori got all uppity about their land and human rights and language and the treaty. Back when you could ridicule brown people and everyone would just laugh along.

Of course when he was pressed on what he meant by “fairness and equal treatment” he reached straight for Māori and te Tiriti – because in spite of his protest that “I haven’t got a racist bone in my body”, it is actually all about race. His complete ignorance about the economic and governmental reality of the 60s took Seymour’s deny-and-deflect approach to race relations to its most absurd extent, and in doing so, he downtrowed his own party, and left his leader out here in his tighty whities.

And in true Henry style, he finished it all of with a self-satisfied smirk, apparently blissfully ignorant that his political credibility had just gone up in smoke.

Jack knew, though – I mean, look at that smile. That’s a “this is gold” smile.

He even threw him some pity-nods. Bless.

It was a hākari for the ages, celebrated by the multitudes, and while it will no doubt leave Seymour clutching his belly – many others will be going back for seconds, and thirds.

So anyways…. ABOUT TIM JAGO

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